| I dunno |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|11:36 am] |
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I dunno whats been wrong with me the last few days..I feel like a nut actually...I guess Im just the kind of person of that when I find something great, I wont let anyone or anything stand in my way..But Im starting to think that it is stupid...so right now Im just backing off and blocking..good thing is that Im a pro at that..one reason why I havent gotten myself in a relationship in a long time..the ones u always truly care for are the ones that can hurt you the most..so if you dont care for anyone, then no one can hurt you right? that should be a life motto..yeah I might be single forever living like that..but Ive just been hurt so much I really dont know how else to live..I just need to learn not to open myself up..I just dont understand why crap happens everytime it does..I personally think anyone guy would be lucky enough to have me...and they ones that choose not to will regret it..thats why they always come back... |
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| Today |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|09:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
Well I didnt feel to great about my workout this morning..I did the lower body and I dont think I did the best I could..I would think my legs would be get stronger now but I dunno they dont seem to be..I whimed out on some of it..but I was really tired today so maybe that was it..I have to get up at 5:30 and go to the gym,the days I do weights...I still feel like im not doing enough cardio..but with the program im doing apparently I am..its all about the way im doing it..so I hope it works or im wasting my time..on other notes my sense of smell must be coming back..I went to go grab my boiled egg whites out of the fridge this morning and was almost overthrown by the smell..I was like my god! never been that strong before..and then just a while ago I had a lady at my desk that reaked of smoke and the shit actually made my nose burn..that doesnt usually happen..Im dying my hair back to its natural color on Wed...im excited because im hoping that my hair will look better..the color on it now is just ugly..its a golden blonde..and well I just dont look good as a golden blonde..im gonna get some stuff to help my hair not get so dry and im also getting it cut this weekend..in a few months I will add highlights...haha sorry as if u guys wanted to know all of that..I was feeling pretty cruddy today until a lady I had this morning..I had a asian lady that I helped..she told me that I was so beautiful and nice..she asked if I was married..I said no and she goes well then u must have a boyfriend..haha no..she told me she couldnt believe it cause I was so beautiful..hehe even though is came from a lady it was nice to hear..sometimes strangers just make your day :)
btw...one week clean of smoking! |
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| Great Monday |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|08:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
Well its been 6 days since I quit smoking..its getting easier...its alot easier then it was last time..last time I gave in on the 5th day..I find myself less and less thinking about smoking...but I feel so much better about myself...I can jog now and my teeth are actually getting more white..the withdrawals suck though..tired and chest pain and congestion..but I know it will pass soon..my working out is going great..been getting up faithfully every morning and going to the gym..im sore as hell still but thats good..I can see a different in my torso area..I pigged out yesterday..feel so gross haha but it was my cheat day and my mom made some great stuff for the super bowl..I have been watching what im eating big time since I quit smoking..I havent been eating everytime I get hungry hehe cause its normal to get my hungry after u quit..oh well..I will get through it..thought of the day..I can smell my perfume..smells great |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|09:54 am] |
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for the last 3 weeks I have been busting my ass..and still no results..today I actually look like ive gained weight??? ok I dont understand??im working out..no cokes,no processed sugars..eating 6 times a day..:/ I dunno this has got me depressed..I always do something wrong..or my body cant handle the diet and I blow up...I dunno I just cant believe this..I guess I gonna have to start working harder...instead of 30 mins of cardio in the morning its gonna be a hour..and instead of a cheat day,its gonna be a cheat meal..my stomach is still messed up from my cheat day on sunday :/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|03:05 pm] |
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fuck,I really really miss you..I dunno what you did to me |
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| anxiety |
[Dec. 14th, 2004|12:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
my anxiety has been like sky high since yesterday...I actually had a panic attack the other night...I fucking hate it..why cant I just be normal? I know its from stress from the last week..thats the only time it happens now..and I know getting ridiculously shit faced the other night didnt help it...im not suppose to drink that much...Ive been sitting here at work on pins and needles..thoughts are running so fast through my head that I cant keep up with them...im sitting here watching my breathing to make sure I dont hyperventilate..and yeah some people probably think im crazy, but then again that dont have PAD..or GAD or whatever it is I have...and I know alot of it has to do with being completely alone the last few days...that part kind of sucks..im just not use to it yet..but I guess I will have to...grrrrr...fucking anxiety..kiss my ass |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2004|10:21 am] |
1.PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS OUT, NOW HOW DID YOU GET IT?
its a scar right below my eyebrow..I got it when I was 18 and very drunk..I fell and hit my head on the corner of a sink
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
nothing yet
3. WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY FOOTBALL OR WATCH IT?
I can handle watching it
4. WHAT SPORT WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE BEST AT?
probably softball and volleyball
5. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE? it was like when I was 15..I just remember alot of darkness and people were in cages hanging from the celing and the worse screams I have ever heard..still makes my skin crawl
6. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE? The Firm
7. APPLES OR ORANGES?apples
8. GRAPES OR WATERMELON?grapes
9. WOLVES OR TIGERS?wolves
10. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
rock, alternative, punk,classic rock,some R&b
11. HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN POETRY? of course
13. DO YOU REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS? usually
14. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 8:24 pm
15. DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK, WHERE? I use to have one on my hip
16. WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A ROMANTIC PERSON?ummm not really..but im romantic in the sense
17. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?
to many
18. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU STARTED FILLING THIS IN? registering a patient
19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUM?
not sure
20. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE? anything with carmel
21. FAVORITE CANDY (NON CHOCOLATE)? um im not a big candy person but probably starburst
22. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE-CREAM?
vanilla
23. DO YOU OWN ANYTHING LEATHER?no
24. FAVORITE COLOGNE?
i dunno
25. FAVORITE PERFUME? Michael Kors- Michael
26. DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?2 flutes
27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON SOMEONE (OPPOSITE SEX)?
eyes,smile
28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?coconut,magnolia
29. FAVORITE SOUND THAT YOU HEAR OFTEN?
uhh
30. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?stupid crap as usual
31. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?no
32. COULD YOU EVER SEE YOURSELF MOVING FROM WHERE YOU ARE? yes
33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME? Sleeping Beauty
34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME? probably Freebird -Lynard Skinard...the energy is amazing in that song
35. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WHEN YOU WERE TEN? probably yello
36. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green
37. HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? yes..I have a teddy since I was 3
38. IF SO WHAT WAS/IS IT'S NAME? Teddy
39. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE/ Issac Roundtree 1st grade
40. MOST EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MOMENT? umm probably when some kid ran into me and knocked out my 2 front teeth,,ohh and when I was at a ballet thingy I fell down the stairs...once a klutz always a klutz
41. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? spikey or shaggy
42. WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS (SAME SEX) HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST?
umm I dunno
43. NOW THE OPPOSITE? nate and shaggs
44. WHAT IS THEIR MIDDLE NAME?
I know nate's is Nathaniel I dunno about shaggs
45. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?
both
46. WHERE AT?
beach
47. (FOR THE LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT? well knowing my personality and probably the person I marry it will probably be something romantic that turns into something were we cant stop laughing..goofy
48. (NOW THE GENTLEMEN, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
49. WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES? dazed and confused,SLC punk,Queen of the Damned,What dreams may come,all the lampoons
50. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON?
cruise or disneyworld
51. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
the flute..use to be able to play the guitar some
52. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE? some french
53. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)? cant remember
54. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/RAPPER?
umm I dunno
55. FAVORITE BAND(s)? The Doors,Aerosmith
56. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
biograpies,true crimes,paranormal
57. HOW DO YOU LIKE POETRY? love it
58. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? 2 milks and alot of SUGAR!! hehe
59. WHAT's your favorite PHRASE to use? say what?
60. DRAGONS OR DINOSAURS?
dragons
61. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
yeah
62. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO you? in a letter..im good at expressing myself through words
63. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 27
64. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?:brunettes
65. WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ICE SKATING OR ROLLER SKATING?
ice skating
66. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? probably my mom
67. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? stupid people,bad drivers
68. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
hehe yeah
69. WHO IS YOUR CURRENT CRUSH? umm yeah
70. TURN OFFs AND/OR TURN ONs?
-turn offs: liars,egotistical boys,dishonesty
-turn ons: honesty, cuddling,kissing,laughing,someone I can actually talk tooo |
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| crazy |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|02:37 pm] |
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well Im back..ive decided to try to start writing in here again...anywho not alot has been going on..I finally moved..still unpacking but im moved..max still isnt doing good with the move..still cant get him to use the restroom outside at the apartments and he still isnt eating..I know its a big change and it will take time..ive also realized that im gonna have alot of boring nights alone..I was sooo freakin bored last night..either im gonna have to find some hobbies or start taking people at gunpoint to come over and hang out with me..I think my weight loss is gonna be easier now..since im broke and im buying my own groceries..I bought a shit load yesterday..all good stuff...I have some chips and stuff my mom bought me and I dont want them..shit I dont need them so if anyone wants them ya can have them..quiet a few too..I need to start working out since I can now but I cant until this stupid cough goes away...I fucking hate asthma...I drank way to much sat night..I have no idea why..I guess I just lost track..and I know I probably said alot of stupid shit..ugh..I mean I was slooshed...but then again who really pays attention to drunk stupid people...I have this 50 dollar american express gift card that I need to spend..clothes,music..cant decide on which one..I really need some new clothes like bad..but I also need some more music..decisions,decisions..I really need to wash my car too its pretty nasty..I havent washed it because of all the damn rain lately..but apparently its suppose to be cold and sunny this week so ive run out of excusses...other then that..not a damn thing..life is the samee |
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| hair |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|10:00 am] |
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i think im coloring and cutting my hair this weeekend..not in length but do something to it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|10:57 am] |
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woooott!!!!! got my apartment ;O) |
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| update |
[Sep. 2nd, 2004|10:16 am] |
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its been a while since I updated so I guess its time!! its been crazy the last few weeks..ive been going out again which is nice...the previous weekend steph and I met up with mike and his friend Joe we met up at Pete's Piano Bar..really cool place but I got drunk 2 fast..cant drink like I use too..so by the time mike got there I was drunk..but it was nice seeing him..I havent seen him in like 6 months..and that crush is still there =) anyways I didnt hear from him all last week I was like great he is doing it again..but I found out he was out of town so we are talking like we use to..I didnt jump to conclusions this time..but my new nickname with him seems to be ashlee simpson..because im brunette now and I guess cause of my bangs...ugh..I dont look anything like herrrrrr anywho..last weekend I had to work..which sucked but sat night me and steph went to the barley house and played some pool...bj was there hung out for a while..andrew and Jeremy showed up..and I had a great time..andrew and I just talked and talked..bj and steph both ended up leaving so we decided to go the quarter while the boys precided to try to get me drunk..but it didnt work!! but I had a great time..nice people good convo's..this weekend I have to work friday night and then I have to go the Oklahoma sat to see my cousins football game..so my weekend is fucked..but thank god I dont have to work on monday so that gives me a extra day...im probably gonna end up meeting with john sunday night go see a band which is cool..anywho that is alllll...oh yeah I ate some chinese food last night..ive been sick ever since :( |
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| gggrrr |
[Aug. 4th, 2004|02:48 pm] |
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I lost my bottle of perfume that I bought over in mexico...I traced my steps back and realized I havent seen it since I went and saw nate..so I wrote him today asking him if he had found any perfume in his truck? he writes me back with this attitude telling me yeah he did and he had to explain it to his gf and that his truck was in the shop and I was just gonna have wait...in the 8 years ive known him he has never been like that with me or so short...im like ok if you knew it was my then why didnt he call me and let me know?? that perfume is like 70 bucks here for the brand and size...shit all I got to say is that I better get it back or he is gonna give me some money..and his little ass gf better not had kept it |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2004|10:36 am] |
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ugh..im so tired..I attempted to go to bed early last night but I wake up more tired then I was yesterday...I really hate this humidity...makes me drowsy...anywho..I have a 3 day weekend!! woohooo I am happy about that...tomorrow night im suppose to get together with a old friend mike that I havent seen in a few years..friday I might go look for another job(sshhh) and the rest of the weekend is in the air..lauren wants to hang out but she is working all weekend so we will see how that turns out...blah ok back to work |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2004|09:26 pm] |
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its sunday night and work is tomorrow :( sat I got up early and went and helped stacey move some stuff into her new apartment..it was sooooooo hotttttt..I thought we all were gonna die..we were all literally dripping in sweat it wasnt exactly pretty and on top of that stacey air conditioning in her car was messing up for some reason so unfortuently we didnt get to cool off nicely like the guys did..but we survived..sat night I was suppose to go the barley house with steph and possible curt,allan and BJ..well steph ended up not going because she was in duncanville with her mom and well that is a drive.and of course curt has his usually excuse and Allan just didnt call..probably got to drunk at his poker game..when BJ called I was already asleep..I woke up about midnight and ended up having a conversation with Stephen..we talked some..he told me that he wished he didnt fuck things up with me and blahblah..well he ended up coming over and we had a pretty good time...we did some talking but nonoono no sex! u dirty minded people..anywho he left at 4 and I passed out...so we will see what will happen..I talked to him today but he is still staying on the back burner due to the fact that I dont trust him right now from what happened before..but if he plays his cards right who knows..anywho that was my exciting weekend...work tomorrow |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2004|10:48 am] |
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this has been a very slow week indeed..I havent been going to bed early at all which makes me more tired the next day...my friend nate had called me 3 days in a row wanting me to come over and I didnt want to I was 2 tired and he couldnt want until the weekend!! I was like ugh so I went over last night and hung out with him and his friend doug,shags and dave...good times..just fucked around and drank...didnt get home until 1 and im tired today but not like i was yesterday..I got some jeans and some tee's from old navy last night..I like the jeans they are bellbottom hip huggers..but I dunno I think they might be 2 big..I couldnt keep the up last night! I guess I should buy some belts..I just dont like the fact that they dont zip up they button up..and it sticks out some! makes my look funny..but oh well they are comfortable..I wonder what I'll do this weekend..hhmm I'll let ya know |
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| Poll..pics below |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|09:17 am] |
Poll #326336 Hair Color
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21Im thinking about going brunette again..but im having trouble deciding...what do you think?
my hair is longer and im smaller since the pic with the brown hair
 |
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| Funny Story |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|11:46 am] |
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Ive been having vertigo spells the last few days..scaring the crap out of me...and of course my anxiety got the worse of me..havent been able to sleep convinced that I was gonna die...I went to the doc today...I have fluid in my ear which is causing my vertigo..I feel like such a dork sometimes...hehe dont ya hate anxiety!! |
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| Ranting |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|09:32 am] |
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Im so tired of being single..Im tired of partying,dating,causal sex..the shit gets old..I think I started partying 2 young...now im all burnt out...I just wanna find someone I can connect with and settle down |
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| My Weekend |
[Jul. 18th, 2004|10:48 pm] |
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my weekend was pretty good..friday night I met up with Lauren and a few of her friends to see the band Faktion...and damn they were really good...looking foward to seeing them again..Lauren was really cool..I had fun...I didnt go to bed until late friday night but got woken up at like 9 by mike text messaging me happy birthday..I was happy when I got that..it made me smile..I wasnt expecting that..my mom took me out to eat for my birthday and gave my 80 bucks in cash to put towards my digital camera and some jewelry...Sat night I met up with BJ and we went The Barley House..he was meeting up with a girl from the net..and we had a blast! so I met 2 new people that were really cool..me and stacy are planning out hanging out sometime which rocks..but it was fun 4 drunk people playing pool..doesnt get better then that.. at one point I went to go get a drink at the bar and I got surrounded by 4 guys..they were like has anyone ever told you that u look like britney spears? I was like oh lord..they were saying crap like are u stunt double? can u sing like her? will u sing one song for us? will u dance to toxic? I was like um I just wanna get my drink..and well they shut up..I really hate that sometimes...hehe to bad I dont have her body! hehe but today has been pretty uneventful..I havent done much of anything..but I did end up talking to a old friend mike that I havent seen in like 2 years..we caught up and stuff and he gave me his number so we hang out sometime..so that was cool..yup...blah..but I guess its time for bed..uh huh |
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brooke22's journal
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